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Two Months

How has it been two months? Two months since I held my sweet baby girl in my arms. Yesterday was two months since I last felt her sweet kicks, and since she met Jesus, and tomorrow it will be two months since I delivered her and held her precious and perfectly formed body in my arms. It is important to me that I am honest about this journey, and I never want to give the wrong impression. I want to be real.

The reality is…

Yesterday while Stella napped I stood in the nursery and wept. I held Sophia’s blanket, and couldn’t make the tears stop. I wanted to hold her. Last week I had a day that was one of the first days that I hadn’t cried, and then I cried with guilt for not crying. I am learning that grief doesn’t always make sense, and that it comes in waves that wash over you and almost knock you down. I miss her. I miss her thick black hair, and her long slender feet. I miss what would have been, I long to see her first smiles, and to see her discover the world.

but then…

I remember that she is discovering Heaven. She is smiling as she worships our Savior. I am reminded that there is coming a day when Jesus will wipe away every tear, and we will worship Him together. I remember that He is holding her, and He is holding me too. When I am so weak, and I want my little girl, He gives me strength. When the tears keep coming, and I don’t even know what to pray I can just say His name, and know that He understands.

My daughter is gone, and He is good, and in my heart I know that there is no contradiction in that sentence.

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I’m right there with you, and two months has seemed like an eternity. Thank you for your openness through your journey. Our little angels are a day apart and I hope they are friends in heaven by now. Hugs.

Emily Lockard Furry

I love you. I’m praying for you every. single. day.

Suzan Severn

I know. We know. We ache with you. We cry with you. And we trust God and the truth of His word with you. It is enough….

Caitie Sheppard

I love you so much…praying for you both!!!

Melissa Siena

I know you don’t feel amazing, but you are. Thank you for sharing your heart. I met with a counselor yesterday, and she reminded me that praising God in a storm, doesn’t mean praising Him FOR The storm! SO glad for that!! I love you girl. so much. I hate that we are linked in such profound losses

Ami Adams

You are so strong and courageous and brave, yet I imagine that you don’t feel that way too much right now. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and real. You are a living example of God being great and mighty even in the midst of our pain.

Amy Kendig

May Jesus cover you in His perfect peace.

Amy Kendig

May Jesus cover you with His perfect peace.

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